So you’ve got yourself a date! Fantastic! Hopefully you know enough on your own to set a place and time to meet. May I take this opportunity to suggest doing something other than getting drinks or coffee for a first date? I could literally drown in all the first date cocktails I have had and anyone who comes up with something different (or agrees to my suggestions) is my hero.
- If you are asking someone out, be prepared with a suggestion of a plan. Don’t do the “I dunno, what do you want to do?” dance.
- If you are doing the online thing, make sure you exchange phone numbers so you can call or text if you are running late or have an emergency.
- Call or text if you are running late or have an emergency.
- Don’t flake out at the last minute.
- Dress to impress. Or at least shower and make a little effort.
- Don’t be late! In fact, try to be a little early so you can get settled and relaxed.
- Hold up your end of the conversation. Be sure to ask close to as many questions as you are asked (i.e. don’t only talk about yourself). But also, do you best to not only just ask questions (honestly I’ve had dates that felt like interviews). Basically, just be a person talking to another person!!
- Keep things light and positive. You’re trying to get to know each other, not your baggage.
- Refrain from checking your phone, except when the other person is in the bathroom.
- Don’t be rude to the people around you, especially wait staff.
- Men, we’ve discussed chivalry a bit in the past, and obviously a little bit of the man holding the door for a woman and so forth can be seen as being “well brought up” but don’t go too far by ordering for her, insisting she wait in the car until you open the door, or making her walk on the inside of the sidewalk.
- Always offer to split the bill. If the asker insists on paying, be gracious and accept.
- If you aren’t feeling it, don’t text a friend to call you and rescue you that’s super obvious and tacky. Stick it out through one drink, or say, at least an hour, then say you need to run and leave.
- I think it is acceptable, after a first date that is a flop, for both parties to just never speak again. However, if the other person gets in touch with you to arrange another date, you need to respond to them and let you know you aren’t interested (also, confession time: I am the worst about this and have gone against my own advice on NUMEROUS occasions. But I feel bad about it.) You can just say something like: It’s so great to hear from you and I had a fun time meeting you, but I’m not really interested in exploring this any further.
*Disclaimer: obviously all advice goes out the window when you believe that you are in danger from the other person or they are being truly offensive.