Category Archives: How To

How to Sell Girl Scout Cookies Politely

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Only if they are made from real Girl Scouts. (The author unfortunately does not have a digital copy of her in her Girl Scout uniform. Darn.)

Only if they are made from real Girl Scouts. (The author unfortunately does not have a digital copy of her in her Girl Scout uniform. Darn.)

It’s that time of year when gentle spring breezes waft the scent of delicious cookies towards our noses. Whether you call them tagalongs or peanut butter patties, we all need our fix of the famous Girl Scout Cookies. However, if you happen to be a Girl Scout (as I once was) or a Girl Scout parent, there are a few things you should keep in mind when you set out to sell cookies.

Door to Door

In my day, this was the #1 way to sell cookies, which was pretty awkward when both my sister and I were selling cookies at the same time (I have no idea how my parents dealt with it.) But basically, you went around your neighborhood, rang the doorbells, asked if they would like to order some cookies and boom, done. Then you went back around to deliver the cookies weeks later.

I believe the Girl Scouts discourage this practice now due to safety concerns. Anyway, if you are going to do it you must:

  • Take no for an answer. Cookie sales are not the time for high pressure sales tactics.
  • Say thank you to those who place orders and those that don’t.
  • Don’t ring the bell more than once or twice.
  • Always go with an adult (or a buddy if you are older, I guess. I quit Girl Scouts when I was 10.)
  • Promptly deliver the cookies after you receive them.

Parent’s Work

I was always jealous of the girls who would win the big cookie selling prizes because their parents worked in huge offices and would just bring the sheet in for them to sign up. I am still jealous of people who work in huge offices where parents bring in Girl Scout cookie sign up sheets. This is another instance where high pressure sales tactics are not appropriate. Just leave the sign up sheet in the breakroom or wherever with a note and let people sign up on their own. If you are the boss, it is doubly especially important that you make it clear that cookie purchases are optional, as often people feel pressure to buy things from their boss because they are the boss.

Cookie Stands

When I was in college, a group of Girl Scouts would set up their cookie stand outside our student center at lunch time and make bank, I’m sure. Those girls are going to go far in life because they realized the importance of location and the appetites of college students. Again, no high pressure sales tactics necessary. Just set up somewhere busy with a bright display of cookies and watch the money roll in. A few cute munchkins standing about asking people if they want to buy cookies is fine. Otherwise, pleases and thank yous are all you need.

How to Host an Overnight Guest

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Not exactly the most welcoming. [Via Wikimedia Commons

Hosting overnight guests is the most intimate form of hosting since you are essentially signing up to share your living space with someone for a period of time. Now, the level of hosting can vary greatly- you are going to treat a one night guest, a weekend guest, and a long term guest in slightly different ways. But there are some key things to remember:

  • Figure out where they are going to sleep ahead of time ( I also recommend being upfront with your sleeping arrangements when you extend the invitation- let them know that they will be sleeping on your couch, the floor, the spare bed, etc. so those who cannot sleep in certain arrangements can decline.)
  • Make sure you have everything set up before your guest arrives. Blow up the air mattress and make it up with clean sheets, make sure the guest bed has clean sheets, etc. (If they are sleeping on your couch, you shouldn’t make it up until just before they go to sleep so you can both sit on it.) The idea is to not make the guest feel like a burden as they see you scramble to get everything together. Plus if you discover the air mattress has a hole or the blower is out of batteries or all your sheets are dirty, you will have time to remedy it.
  • Pull out a set of (again, clean!) towels for your guest to use and point them out to the guest when they arrive.
  • It’s nice to have some snacks and drinks available that you tell the guest to help themselves to.
  • Show the guest where cups, plates, forks, etc are stored so they can get them themselves.
  • Make some effort to tidy up, especially in the bathroom. You might not mind showering in a tub with a gross ring, but that’s because it’s YOUR gross ring.
  • Unless you know for sure your guest isn’t a breakfast person, try to have a couple of things on hand like toast, cereal, and orange juice. If you are a baker, make some muffins, or go all out and make scrambled eggs and bacon. It will really make your guest feel cared for and they will be happy not to leave your house ravenous to go to whatever plans you have for the day (unless you are planning on going out to breakfast!). Here is my etiquette confession: I can’t offer people coffee because I don’t own a coffee maker. But I do live literal steps from a bodega that guests can get coffee from, so forgiven?
  • If you and your guest are sharing your bedroom make sure to talk about whether you are ready to turn out the light and what time you want to wake up.
  • If you have a friend coming to visit, make sure you come up a list of fun things to see and do that you can share with them. They don’t know what’s good to do and you do! If they are coming for some other reason, help them out with figuring out where they are going, transportation, important things to know, copies of your keys, etc.

How To Be Naked In Places Where You Need To Be Naked

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827baeedffb237631ec8d228bff2ef59My friends and I really enjoy going to this Korean spa near where we live. When most people think “spa,” they think of a quiet, relaxing place where people give you fuzzy robes and rub energizing oils into your back, but this place is a little more like a theme park. There’s a whole floor of different saunas!

Anyway, one of the best parts of it is the mandatory nude area. Most of the spa is co-ed, so you must stay covered, but off the men’s and women’s locker rooms there are men/women only, nude only hot tubs and saunas. They’re not required, but if you’re into being naked, I highly recommend them. In general, being comfortable with your naked body is a pretty healthy thing, and there are many places–nude beaches, spas, certain parties–where you can enjoy your nude self around strangers. Here are some things you should keep in mind if you find yourself in one of these areas.

1. FOLLOW THE RULES– The last time my friends and I went to this spa, we noticed a lot of newcomers who were trying to either a) hang out in the nude mandatory areas with bathing suits on or b) sort of peering into the nude areas and gawking at all the naked people without actually getting naked. Not cool! You don’t have to get naked, but if you don’t want to, sorry, you just can’t be in the area where it’s mandatory. Similarly, you shouldn’t be naked in places where you’re required to cover up. And please, stop “just taking a stroll” down to the nude section of the beach to look at the naked people. We see you.

2. NO JUDGMENT– As much as we all try to be accepting and open of all types, it is somewhat natural to compare bodies. Left at that, I think it’s just fine–I enjoy seeing different types of nude bodies and seeing just how many ways a human can be put together. However, do not stare, and do not let your casually noticing different types turn into judgment, and for god’s sake do not comment on a stranger’s body. Everyone should be able to feel comfortable in an all-nude space. This also goes for areas, like New York City, where it’s legal for women to be topless in public parks. If a woman chooses to exercise this right, do not give her shit about it.

3. TALKING TO STRANGERS IS WEIRDER– The first time I went to a nude beach I was in college, and of course, a creepy middle-aged man struck up a conversation with me and was clearly hitting on me. The normal “do not hit on minors” advice aside, the fact that I was completely nude made this awkward. What made it even MORE awkward was that he was wearing a bathing suit. Even if he were my age, and even if he were nude, it is much, much harder to not come across as predatory if you strike up a conversation with a nude stranger. Be sure your signal reading skills are on point, and if in even the smallest bit of doubt, just don’t do it.

4. DO NOT COMMENT ON A STRANGER’S NAKED BODY – I just feel like I should repeat this. I was tempted to, once, when a nude woman I was around had really really beautiful nipple tattoos, and I wanted to compliment her. But I didn’t, and the world kept spinning.

5. REMEMBER JUST HOW DIFFERENT BODIES CAN BE – One thing I become acutely aware of whenever I’m at the spa is how easy it is to be a cisgendered person there. The nude hot tubs clearly operate under the assumption that sex=gender, and I cannot imagine it’s easy for anyone who identifies as trans* or otherwise gender nonconforming. Especially since co-ed/gender mixed nudity will not be everyone’s cup of tea either. It’s not always in our control, but remember that the goal should be to make these spaces open and allowing of everyone who wants to enjoy them. If anyone has better ideas on how to do that without starting your own gender inclusive spa, please let me know.

6. BE CLEAN – Become hyper-aware of your wiping habits after using the bathroom. Everyone will thank you.

How to Be Sick AND Polite

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Germy germs

Getting sick happens to the best of us, but you don’t have to be rude about it!

In general, the best thing to do when you aren’t feeling well is to just remove yourself from society by staying safely in bed. But if you do need to venture out, here are some tips:

A Cold:

  • Sneeze and cough politely. The best place to direct a sneeze or a cough is into your elbow, that way the germs don’t get on your hands and transferred to other people.
  • If you find yourself having a coughing fit, excuse yourself from any situation where you might be disturbing others- a classroom, a movie theater, a library, etc until it subsides. (I sometimes get terrible dry coughing fits that last 10 minutes, so trust me, I have been there with this! It is super embarrassing too.) Also try to carry cough drops around with you.
  • Use a tissue or handkerchief to blow your nose.

Vomiting In Public:

We’ve all been there, the only thing you can do is do your best to make it to some kind of receptacle.

Really Disgusting Infections:

True story, the one and only time I ever had pink eye, I woke up with it the morning of the day I was supposed to have a long-anticipated date. I had to postpone and things never really worked out after that. The point of the story is that I looked like a horrible demon but I had to go out in public to go to the doctor, pick up my prescription, and pick up some food to sustain me through my suffering. Sunglasses were key in this situation. I just wore them right into the store and kept them on so as not to frighten small children.

The point is, if you have weeping wounds or other seriously disturbing visuals, do your best (within reason!) to keep them covered up when you absolutely must be around other people. And no, I’m not talking about your everyday rosacea or acne or other stuff that people should learn to deal with and definitely not tease you for.

Contagious, Preventable Illnesses:

Get your damn vaccinations already, oh my god.

How To Set Up A Guest Room

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This is Emily Post's ideal guest room. I can't say I love her taste in curtains!

This is Emily Post’s ideal guest room. I can’t say I love her taste in curtains!

So these days, it seems like most people don’t have a dedicated guest room. Usually if there is an extra room, it’s an office with a fold out couch or something similar. I wonder sometimes what percentage of people “back in the day” really had a proper “guest room.” We did when I was very young and had a big house, but when we moved to a smaller house we didn’t anymore. Did people really have more overnight guests “back then”? I have so many questions.

These days, you make do with what you have, but if you lived in Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post’s worlds, you have a guest room and they had some adorable, now somewhat outdated advice about what to put in there. So really, this post is mostly etiquette history, as you can certainly follow this advice but it is in no way expected.

The Basics:

  • A relatively comfortable bed. Emily Post suggests sleeping on it yourself once. Amy Vanderbilt suggests that you have two twin beds that can be pushed together (she is very concerned about couples that prefer to not sleep in the same bed???) That bed should have plenty of blankets and pillows as well.
  • There needs to be a light near to the bed that is bright enough to read by.
  • A working clock (though with cell phones these days…)
  • Hangars in the closets and empty dresser drawers so the guest can actually unpack.
  • Good curtains or shades to keep the sunlight out.
  • A pitcher of water and a glass

The Extras:

  • Flowers in a vase
  • Lots of books!
  • A desk with pens, writing paper, envelopes, and stamps (clearly in the days before email!)
  • Snacks for the guest to eat before bed
  • PJs and a bathrobe
  • A full length mirror
  • An array of toiletries for the bathroom
  • A hot water bottle (they specifically mention this for women- I wonder if it has to do with cramps more than keeping your toes warm.)

Thank Goodness We Don’t Have To Do That Anymore:

  • Emily suggests having a candle and matches. In case of an emergency, fine. BUT she also suggests that some people like to keep a candle burning all night. NO!
  • Both etiquette mavens also recommend having ashtrays and matches for smokers- not so much a necessity today (even if your friends smoke, I can’t imagine allowing them to smoke in the house.)
  • The pull cord for servants should be next to the bed (as if, Emily Post!)
  • Breakfast trays! (Maybe this was easy with lots of servants, but I am not running a hotel!)
  • A swimsuit if you have a pool (so unlikely that anyone would be able to have enough sizes of swimsuits for this to be practical!)
  • A radio (so quaint!)
  • A turned down bed (this is the maid’s doing, but I guess it doesn’t really take any time, so you COULD do it. Theoretically.)

But seriously though, nobody expects that their host provide them with a hotel room. And if you do have a real guestroom, I imagine that your guest will be so thrilled to be sleeping on an actual bed instead of a sofa or an air mattress that they won’t care about the other stuff. Just make sure that the sheets are clean (always always change and wash sheets between guests, come ON!) and the room is also clean and reasonably tidy and you are fine.