We were shocked and appalled to see this post on Reddit:
One of my [26/F] bridesmaids [26/F] stabbed and nearly killed my husband’s [26/M] cousin [30/F] at our wedding. What do we do with the gifts they both gave us, and what do we say to our guests?
Of course it was way too juicy for us not to talk about it:
Jaya: Okay so generally, I would assume the stabbing victim did not do anything wrong? Or less wrong than the aggressor.
Victoria: Yeah, generally.
Jaya: So you know, nothing wrong with his gift.
Victoria: Although, I don’t know how I would feel if they had been fully participating in starting and escalating the fight.
Jaya: Right, and unfortunately there don’t seem to be more details.
Victoria: I think someone suggested in the comments giving the stabber’s gift to charity. I think that is nice, or give it to the person who got stabbed.
Jaya: Yeah, or donating it to your cousin’s medical bills. I don’t think giving back either of the gifts is normal? Some people are saying it is.
Victoria: Yeah, that seems weird.
Jaya: I don’t know, if I got stabbed, the last thing I’m thinking about is the ice bucket I got you off your registry.
Victoria: And like, chances are they came a while before the wedding. And HEY, you totally deserve that ice bucket for having such a ruckus at your wedding. I would send the couple extra gifts.
Jaya: Right? Like, they’re staying you should rip up a check which 1. assuming you got a check, which maybe you didn’t and 2.how does that help/change anything?
Victoria: Yeah, so that’s that for the gift situation. For relations- I would definitely say call the family of the cousin who got stabbed to profusely apologize and express your total shock about the situation. And definitely visit at the hospital and bring flowers etc. And I would go so far as to say, write some kind of note or call the other guests at the wedding to update them that the cousin is doing well and that you can’t believe it happened, etc etc. specially thank anyone who went above and beyond in the situation to help.
Jaya: I totally agree with all your advice. Though I don’t think the couple needs to feel all that responsible. I mean, unless they orchestrated it. But it seems like they had nothing to do with it!
Victoria: Yeah! It’s just one of those things Oh and obviously never talk to that bridesmaid again.
Jaya: What would you even write? “sorry someone got stabbed at our wedding?”
Victoria: I mean, I would write something like “we deeply regret the tragic event that occurred at our wedding and want to assure you that [cousin] is doing well.”
Jaya: Damn you’re good at this.
Victoria: But a phone call might be a good idea unless the wedding was huge.
Jaya: And you know, I’m sure people will be asking, so it may not even be an issue of writing a note. You can just tell anyone who calls you that it’s resolved and your cousin is okay.
Victoria: I might write that on any thank you notes that hadn’t been written yet. Just because it would be weird not to mention it
Jaya: That’s a good idea. I love that a Google search to see if there’s a news story about this just brings up stuff about “backstabbing bridesmaids.”