Dear Uncommon Courtesy,
Can you please tell me if the Mother of the Bride must remain at the reception until it is over if she does not feel well? The Brides Father and siblings are still there.
The Emily Post Institute says that one of the few reasons to miss a wedding or social event that you have previous RSVP’d yes to is illness.
Jaya: So this is curious to me because it was sent at 1am. Like, was this person at the wedding when this happened???
Victoria: Haha maybe!
Jaya: Amazing. Okay so yes, if you are sick, do not hang around the party!
Victoria: If the parents are the hosts, they are supposed to stay until everyone else leaves. BUT there is clearly an exception for illness! Illness trumps everything! I mean, you could even skip the entire day if you were sick enough. And I’m sure you would be heartbroken, but what can you do?
Jaya: I wonder if this is like…she’s “sick,” like obvs don’t use illness as code for “I hate my new in-laws and don’t wanna be here.”
Victoria: Lol, yeah, don’t fake being sick to leave a wedding early if you are the mother of the bride.
Jaya: The wording “must remain at the reception” so gets me though. I think it’s really indicative of how we tend to think of it as this Big Official Thing, when like, it’s a party!
Victoria; Hahah yeah, seriously.
Jaya: I know it’s bigger than a house party, but if you went to a couple’s house and one of them was like “you know, I’m not feeling great, I’m gonna go lie down” but the other one was fine and the party continued, that’s totally normal.
Victoria: I mean, I guess if the bride and groom do the traditional ducking out, then someone has to stay to make sure everyone leaves okay and aren’t abandoned in this function hall.
Jaya: Definitely, stuff needs to be taken care of. Which presumably either the MOB or someone else is able to figure out quickly before she leaves. Just like, say goodbye to the important people, explain you’re sick, and go.
Victoria: Yeah, definitely. I mean, that’s all there really is to say about it. Safety and health trump etiquette at all times. And you definitely don’t want a Typhoid Mary situation where everyone who attended this wedding gets the flu because of the mother of the bride.
Jaya: And good lord, I hope if you’re in the wedding party/the couple/somehow involved here, you are not judging a sick woman for leaving the party early, even if she’s the Mother of the Bride. Though people get weird about it. I had a friend leave my wedding early because she had a migraine (which turned into a much more serious medical issue).
Jaya: And she was like “I’m so sorry I left early!” And it’s like GIRL.
Victoria: Lol but guests can leave after the cake cutting anywaaaaaaay. But in that situation, it is nice to try to find the bride and groom if you can and say goodbye.
Jaya: Even then! If you have a crazy migraine and have to leave, leave! and also definitely leave if it turns into something you are hospitalized for!
Victoria: Hahaha yes absolutely. And by bride and groom, I mean the COUPLE. Or the triple or whatever, we don’t judge.
Jaya: Hahahahaha, the marriage unit.
Victoria: Omg that sounds so horrible. Do not like.
Jaya: I know! Ugh we need better terms because so many of the unisex ones sound so clinical.
Victoria: How about the bewedded.
Jaya: LOVE it sounds like bewitched.