This is Victoria’s cat Sir Winston Churchill. Feel free to admire him, but know that behind those innocent eyes is a poorly mannered cat. [Photo courtesy of Ellen Pratt]

We both have cats and we adore them. However, sometimes cats can have manners as bad as humans.

• Trying to scratch someone for simply giving you a hug is rude.

• Stretching your entire body over the center of the bed means that no one else has any space and you are only a 10 pound cat. Learn to share.

• Try to vomit on a hardwood or tile floor as they can be cleaned easily, unlike furniture and rugs. Also try to avoid aiming right where your people will be walking, bleary eyed, first thing in the morning.

• When your housemate is walking, do not walk in front of their legs. They will kick you, and it won’t be a good situation for either party involved.

• Drink the water in your bowl before demanding it from the bathtub faucet.

• While eating, try to keep all of your food and water in their respective bowls, instead of mashing everything into a slurry in the surrounding area.

• 5 am is not an acceptable time to demand breakfast, and biting noses is not the best way to make such a demand.

• Try to avoid sticking your butt in someone’s face.

• Really, you want to scratch our record collection? You have a damn scratching post.

• Maybe you don’t need to constantly meow like you’ve been abandoned on the side of the road when you are in a loving home.

• Heatwaves are bad times for cuddling.

• The people who are visiting think you are so beautiful and just want to play, don’t be snobby and ignore them.

What etiquette lesson would you give your cat?