RSVP Semantics


Jaya: This Facebook thing is freaking me out. Like, no, you don’t get to assume that if my plans open up I’ll be there. I think it’s very emblematic of the way we expect people to RSVP now. That if there is an event, unless they have previous plans or are deathly ill, they will come. Whereas no, you can just turn down an invitation and never have to give a reason, even as small of a reason as “I have other plans”

Victoria: Is that an expectation?

Jaya: I think it’s getting to be one. More like, if you say you’re not going, there has to be a reason. Sometimes you just don’t want to go!

Victoria: Hmmm interesting

Jaya: Or sometimes there is a reason but you don’t want to say it.

Victoria: I guess I don’t get invited to much that I don’t want to go to. Or like, it’s not a real invitation.

Jaya: Omg I get so many random FB event invitations.

Victoria: Haha

Jaya: And I know a lot of those don’t come with the same expectations.

Victoria: I think I have my notifications for events like that turned off?  Cause I just went to my events page and I’m like hey, a million events!

Jaya: Ahhh. But yeah I think it’s a difference. “Not going” is more vague. “Can’t go” suggests there is something preventing you from going.

Victoria: Yeah, definitely. Although, I suppose it’s just semantics. I can’t go [because I don’t want to go] still works. But yeah, I do think Not Going is a bit more neutral. I’ll get Mark Zuckerberg on the phone and let him know.

I did actually have a weird thing recently- I couldn’t go to an because I was out of town, but once I replied “Not Going” I didn’t seem to be able to post on the wall the reason why. But maybe that was a FB app issue.

Jaya: Hmmm weird. That might be a phone thing yeah.

Victoria: So that was much more annoying to me, that I couldn’t actually give a reason why I couldn’t go when I did have one.

Sharing Passwords and Breaking Up

Breakups were so much easier when you didn't have to share passwords.

Breakups were so much easier when you didn’t have to share passwords.

Victoria: Is streaming-password bonding going to be the new fluid bonding?

Jaya: Oh man.

Victoria: I kind of think it doesn’t matter if your ex still uses your password? It doesn’t cost you anything. Although, maybe if they have a Netflix profile it’s annoying to see that.

Jaya: True, but I guess it’s more like, I don’t want us to share anything anymore. Can you imagine if a dude cheated on you and you still have to see what he recently watched?

Victoria: Yeah, true. I suppose it depends on how many people are sharing it- you might not notice. And weirdly I think Netflix is more personal thank HBOgo? I don’t know how Hulu plus works.

Jaya: Hahaha yes. It seems to me less like a payment thing, and more an emotional thing.

Victoria: So what do you think the etiquette would be? I feel like I wouldn’t want to share passwords for at least a year- like all my devices are already logged in, so there’s not really a need to give out my password?

Jaya: Though if you’ve shared it with family, I assume they’d all understand if you email like “hey Brad dumped me so I’m cutting him off from HBOgo, here’s the new login”

Victoria: And, lol, I borrow all mine from other people, so I can at least say, “oh it’s my parents account so I can’t give it to you.” But yeah, I would definitely say the easiest solution would be to change the password and just let everyone else know.

Jaya: That’s a good out! Man, I guess I’ve never been in this situation, since we pretty much got all our accounts together.

Victoria: And definitely get them off your Amazon Prime POST HASTE because they could buy stuff with your credit card and that’s BAD news. I don’t think asking them nicely would do any good because they might just do it out of spite. But if you do break up with someone and you have been using their account, it’s polite to stop and maybe let them know. I don’t know if would be able to do that, but its an ideal to aspire to.

Jaya: I imagine it’s sort of like divvying up stuff at the end, if you’ve been together that long. There’s that awkward period where you split up the stuff you share or bought together.

Victoria: Yeah, totally, especially if you have been actually paying for it.

Jaya: And it’s never easy, but it’s just a convo you have to have. and I think with those it’s even easier because it can go to whoever the bill goes to. And mutually agree to change passwords.

Victoria: Good luck being mature about it and god speed!

Jaya: Haha yeah! We’re talking about this like it’s so easy and people act so calm during breakups.