What to Write on a Registry Note?

Do people still register in the store with these little scanners? [Via flickr user salvationmedia]

Dear Uncommon Courtesy,

What should I write on the “note” that gets included on the packaging when buying a wedding gift off the registry? Do I then follow up with a card?


Wanting to Give the Appropriate Congratulations

Official Etiquette:

Miss Manners doesn’t believe in registries in the first place, so she doesn’t really have any advice about this.

Our Take:

Victoria: As a person with a wedding registry, what do people write on the registry packaging that they send you? And then do they follow up with a card?

Jaya: So far I’ve never had anyone follow up with a card

Victoria: Really? I always do.

Jaya: I personally find it unnecessary. They know who it’s from, they know you’re happy for them, why waste paper?

Victoria: OH! You know what, I bet a lot of people will bring them to the reception. You will have to give an update after the wedding.

Jaya: So some examples of what we’ve received:

Aunt and uncle wrote “Congratulations on this very special day! We love you! ”

Mom’s friend wrote “A toast to many wonderful years together. Cheers! And all best wishes!” (she got us some glasses and a cocktail shaker)

Matt’s great aunt said “Have a happy life together.” The period seemed ominous

Victoria: Hahah those are amazing.

Jaya: Part of what I like about the registry I used is they have a list of who got you what, and you can track if you’ve already sent a thank you note.

Victoria: That’s nice! Yeah, even if the registry does that I think its a good idea to make sure you put your name in a message somewhere just to make sure that the couple does know who its from.

Jaya: Do you have to send a thank you note for a card? Like, a card with no money in it?

Victoria: Nope, I mean, maybe if all they got you was a card but came from far away, you might still consider writing a note.I think it’s becoming more important as people get more spread out and have big weddings that people want to attend, to consider people’s “presence to be their present” and acknowledge it in the same way they do for a physical gift.