Flag Etiquette

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[Via Wikimedia Commons]

It’s the flag, you know what the flag looks like! [Via Wikimedia Commons]

Flag Day is coming up on Sunday and so I wanted to bring everyone up to speed on American flag etiquette!

A few fun facts to begin:

  • The US Flag Code was adopted in 1923 and prior to that there were no official rules governing the US Flag. The different branches of the armed forces all had their own regulations, so the flag code was adopted to make one universal code.
  • It is absolutely not illegal to burn or otherwise desecrate a US Flag in the United States. The Supreme Court decided in 1990 that is it unconstitutional to violate people’s right to free speech (flag desecration counts as free speech) by having laws against flag desecration. (I see people who are unaware of this all the time and it is irksome to say the least.)
  • The Pledge of Allegiance was first written in 1892 and the “under God” bit was not added until 1954 as a way to distant the US from atheistic Communist countries!!  (So maybe we should not make a big deal about people not wanting to say it?) (The pledge was also originally said while doing the Bellamy salute. However, the Bellamy salute looks a lot like the Nazi salute, so it was discontinued during WWII and replaced with the hand over the heart salute.) (Court decisions have decreed that you cannot force anyone to say the Pledge of Allegiance and you cannot also not require anyone to stand during it.)

To paraphrase the flag code:

  • The flag should never dip to show respect to a person or a thing.
  • The flag should never touch the ground or water under it
  • The flag is only flown upside down to indicate distress
  • The flag should never be draped on anything as decoration. To decorate patriotically, bunting should be used with the blue on top, white in the middle, and red on the bottom.
  • The flag should not be used for advertising. It should also not be embroidered on anything or printed on anything that is meant to be casually discarded.
  • The flag should always be fastened securely so there is no risk of it being torn or damaged.
  • There should never be anything written or drawn on the flag.
  • No signs or advertisements should be posted on a flagpole.
  • No part of a flag should be used as a costume or uniform. The armed forces may have a flag patch on their uniforms. Flag lapel pins should be worn on the left, over the heart.
  • When a flag is too worn or damaged to be a fitting symbol, it should be burned ceremoniously.
  • When saluting the flag, whether at a flag raising/lowering ceremony, the National Anthem, or the Pledge of Allegiance, all people should face toward the flag and put their right hand over their heart. Civilians should remove their hats and put the hat over their heart. Military persons in uniform do not remove their hats and salute instead of putting their hands over their hearts. (If you are not a US citizen, you don’t have to do this, but you should stand to be polite.)
  • When displaying the flag from a flagpole, the flag should always go fully to the top unless being displayed at half-mast.
  • The flag is displayed at half-mast by presidential or gubernatorial order. To set the flag at half mast, it is first hoisted to full mast and then lowered. The lower the flag, it is again hoisted to full mast before being lowered fully.
  • The flag is to be hoisted briskly and lowered slowly. It should only be up from sunrise to sunset, if it is to be displayed at night, it should be illuminated.
  • When flown with other flags, the US flag should always be the biggest and fly the highest. It is always the first raised and the last lowered.
  • When the flag covers a casket, the union (the blue section with the stars) should cover the head and left shoulder. The flag is removed before it is lowered into the grave.

Etiquette Tips For Being Cat Called

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tex-avery-wolf-and-red’tis the season, I guess, for dealing with this. Here are some acceptable ways to respond to this fun social dance!

1. Flip ’em off.

2. Ignore them.

3. Run into a bodega and buy yourself some ice cream because you totally deserve it.

4. Call your mom and cathartically trade stories about the other times this has happened to you.

5. Call their moms.

6. Cry violently at them.

7. Say “please don’t” as you smack their hand away.

8. Just say “ew”

9. Literally anything that makes you feel safe, whether that’s sassily laughing it off or pretending to be on a phone call or yelling.

10. Fuck ’em.

11. Fuck ’em all.

Etiquette I Observed On THE CONTINENT

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Good morning! As Victoria may have mentioned, I have spent the last couple weeks on THE EUROPEAN CONTINENT, specifically the cities Paris and Amsterdam. They’re pretty great places to visit, but of course I kept my eye out for any etiquette differences or behavioral expectations. Overall, globalization has gotten the best of us. One dated guidebook told me that in Paris it was unacceptable to eat food on the street, and yet I saw the parks littered with Parisians noshing on cheese and fruit, and the streets packed with people biting straight into baguettes. That rule seems to have fallen out of favor, but there are plenty that still exist.

  • In every restaurant I went to, the English speakers were always the loudest, whether they were Americans, Brits or Australians. I have no idea why we can’t just keep it down, but do your best to lower your voice when dining out. People will stare.
  • Speaking of speaking, make an effort to learn some basic words in the language of the country you’re visiting. I haven’t practiced French since high school, and I never learned Dutch, but I brushed up on hello/goodbye, thank you, and excuse me. Paris has the stereotype of being cold to Americans, but that’s definitely not the case anymore. Everyone was pleasant when they realized we spoke English, and seemed to appreciate the effort. What wasn’t appreciated was anyone who marched into a store and immediately spoke English.
  • Do not shoot back your genever in Amsterdam. Sip it slowly and savor.
  • Do not ask for butter to spread on your croissant in Paris. You probably won’t need it anyway. They are pretty much all butter.
  • Look everyone in the eye when you cheers your drinks.
  • In Paris at least, dinner is still expected to be a few courses–at least a separate first and second course, and usually dessert or coffee. You may get some confusion if you only order a main dish at some of the more local places, so just let yourself indulge.
  • Do not lean over the gates in Notre Dam to tape an entire mass on your iPad. Seriously, people are actually participating and you look ridiculous and disrespectful.
  • Maybe also don’t take photos of every single painting in any given museum. Look at the painting. Enjoy it. Think about it. You can always Google it later.
  • Shower before you get on a plane. Your seatmates will thank you.

Also, a small thing I noticed from traveling with my husband, who’s arm was in a sling the whole time from a broken collarbone–pay attention to when people have casts/slings/other injuries! So many people would just push on subways or through crowds and knock into his shoulder, which was still healing from surgery. You’d think the giant sling would be pretty obvious, but apparently not, so just make sure if you’re pushing through a crowd it’s all people whose shoulders are not broken.

Etiquette Links

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While we are still out on a little hiatus, enjoy some other excellent etiquette from around the internets.

Etiquette parodies are always great at The Onion.

Or maybe this is the true etiquette for the NYC Subway?

If you like podcasts, you must listen to Awesome Etiquette by Lizzie Post and Dan Post Senning from the Emily Post Institute.

Can you pass a chivalry test? (Doesn’t mean we need to keep these rules!)

Katie Heany at Buzzfeed has been reading vintage behavior guides with hilarious results.

We don’t agree that etiquette faux pas should be ACTUAL crimes.

Differing food etiquette across the world is always fun!

Etiquette Hell is where I first starting picking up modern etiquette. Be sure to check out the outstanding forum where a bunch of etiquette mavens put everyone in their place.

And as always, check us out on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

 

 

Memorial Day

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MemorialDay

We love New Yorkers because they do what they can with the space they have.

Don’t forget that while we might be celebrating the beginning of summer and going to the beaches, BBQs, and picnics, that Memorial Day exists to remember soldiers who have died. So try to be sensitive around people for whom this holiday is not a light-hearted three day weekend.

As a housekeeping note, Jaya is traveling and Victoria is moving apartments over the next few weeks so we are going to be a bit light on content or rerunning old posts.  But we will be back with great new stuff very soon! And we will be celebrating our two year anniversary in the next month! So get excited!

In the meantime, check out our Twitter and Instagram for extra opinions and etiquette related stuff!