Monthly Archives: September 2015

How Many Thank Yous for Baby Gifts?

Posted on by

0

Embed from Getty Images
Dear Uncommon Courtesy,
I am in the final weeks awaiting the arrival of my first child. My Aunt sent us gifts early in the pregnancy for our baby and we sent a thank you note promptly. She has since sent another round of gifts and I’m not sure if a second thank you note is required? Apparently, she also intends to send us a quilt, so should I wait for that? What’s the etiquette here for many gifts with months in between… ? 

Thanks, guys!

Victoria: So with the baby gifts, I think you should just go ahead and send a note for each gift that arrives, even if you know that there are more coming. Thank you notes take almost no time, I wrote one today in about two minutes.

Jaya: That’s true, though I think it’s kind of strange for the aunt to be sending “rounds” of gifts. My idea would be that the first ty note is nice, and for subsequent gifts close together, a phone call would do? Because maybe it was something like the Aunt bought a bunch of stuff on Amazon and they sent them out when they were in-stock, so they’re coming piecemeal.

Victoria: Oooh yeah, that’s a good idea. Although, people get even more zany about babies than they do about weddings, so she might just be going overboard.

Jaya: That’s true, but also I’d hope that, as stressed as married couples are, people know pregnant people are even more stressed, and maybe don’t feel like writing notes all the time. Though yeah, it doesn’t take long. I mean obviously if you want to handwrite a note for everything go ahead.

Victoria: It really doesn’t, and you probably aren’t getting that many gifts. I would def send a note for a handmade gift like a quilt though. My mom does a lot of beautifully crafted handmade gifts and she gets super annoyed when she doesn’t get properly thanked for them.

Jaya: Yeah. It certainly depends on the gift. But if you get a pack and play and send a note for that, and then two weeks later get some onesies, I think you can phone it. And just be thankful for how generous the person is being.

Victoria: Yessss, definitely. and like, again, when baby is born, maybe send a quick email with a photo of them using the gift. It is fairly low effort and you are probably taking a million pictures of baby anyway.

The Power of An Apology

Posted on by

2

Leo knows.

Leo knows.

I’ve been noticing lately just how much of a difference an apology makes. It seems like one of those things like please and thank you where, it’s nice to hear but it doesn’t make THAT much difference in your feelings about a situation. But recently, I decided, it actually DOES make a big difference.

I’ve been in several situations where I’ve been irritated by something another commuter, or even a friend, does. And sometimes, these situations really put you on a path towards a bad mood. Like say a friend has made a commitment to doing something for you and then they don’t. You might be bottling it up and feeling really bad towards your friend. Then one day, they say, “hey, I’m really sorry I haven’t done that thing.” Even if their reason is bad, you automatically feel so much better because you feel a bit justified for having your feelings recognized. It’s a very lightening feeling.

Plus, when someone apologizes, even if it’s just for stepping on your toe on the subway, you get to accept the apology and move on rather than stewing about the rude person on the train all day.

So even though it seems SO trivial, please make an effort to give real and sincere apologies when you are in the wrong. It really makes a difference and makes the world a more pleasant place.

Office Kitchen Etiquette

Posted on by

3

Platonic ideal of an office fridge at the end of the day. [Via Wikimedia Commons]

Platonic ideal of an office fridge at the end of the day. [Via Wikimedia Commons]

The office kitchen is often the cause of the greatest strain among coworkers. People steal other peoples food, people don’t wash dishes, the refrigerator is disgusting, and everyone gets fed up. Some simple rules will make everyone much happier:

  • Use the fridge for only the food you will eat that day. Bring your lunch, put it in the fridge, eat it, and bring everything home at the end of the day. Repeat. If you aren’t using the fridge for long term storage, food doesn’t have a chance to rot and make things disgusting. Besides, depending on how many people are using that fridge, there probably isn’t enough room for everyone to store a ton of stuff, so don’t take more than your fair share of space!
  • Label your stuff. It might not prevent people from stealing if they were going to, but it will avoid accidental stealing! Plus, then your office manager will know who to come after when your labelled tupperware starts growing mold.
  • Practice good microwave etiquette. Use a cover so your food doesn’t splatter in the microwave. If it does splatter, wipe it up. Don’t leave your lunch sitting in the microwave when other people are waiting to use it. Avoid heating up extremely smelly food. Avoid burning popcorn. Some of the more uptight among us might add to clear the timer if you leave time on it (but this is asking a lot, I know.)
  • Clean up after yourself. When you finish preparing your food or eating if you eat in the kitchen too, make sure you clean up all wrappers, napkins etc. If you used any dishes, put them in the dishwasher (if you are lucky!) or hand wash them and put them away. Wipe up any crumbs. Unless you work at a very chi-chi office where there is someone whose actual job it is to clean up after everyone, then you MUST clean up after yourself!
  • Be considerate with office snacks. If you are truly lucky, maybe your office provides snacks for you. If so, don’t hog things (like taking 5 granola bars are once or something). Don’t take stuff and bring it home. Throw out empty containers (also don’t leave two chips in a bag and think that you don’t have to throw it out because it isn’t empty.) Clean up spills and crumbs.
  • Refill the coffee pot. If it is empty, make a new pot! If you have a pod machine, empty the pod catcher if it is full! If you have some sort of coffee buying club, follow the rules and contribute your fair share. If you aren’t in the club, don’t drink their coffee.
  • Communicate. If the fridge is running out of milk, sugar, paper towels, or whatever, let the person who refills them know! On the flip side, don’t leave passive aggressive notes about kitchen problems, bring them up to everyone at an appropriate time, such as a staff meeting.