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We recently saw a question on Twitter about whether you can wear white to a same-sex wedding where there is not going to be a bride in a wedding dress and decided to take it upon ourselves to answer it.

Jaya: I honestly have no idea.

Victoria: Oh woooooow, I would err on the side of NOT just out of respect for tradition and also like, while most people SHOULD be aware that they are at a wedding with two grooms, but if they are not for some reason, you don’t want them to mistake you for the bride (also with vendors, the general workers might just not know what’s going on). And yeah, one or both of the grooms might wear it. ALSO, like, there are approximately one million other colors and patterns that are NOT WHITE so I REALLY do not understand why people are constantly asking about wearing white to a wedding. Just take away all thoughts and considerations and don’t do it.

Jaya: You’re right, there are SO MANY OPTIONS. Like, just don’t wear a white dress for one day of your life.

Victoria: We aren’t the only ones to think this. A few years ago, Jezebel asked Steven Petrow, author of Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners and The New Gay Wedding and he said “No doubt about it, they’re going to draw attention to themselves. And that’s the problem. That’s the faux pas.” Because everyone knows the rule about wearing white and will be talking about how you broke it instead of focusing on the couple.

Jaya: And it may sound like a stupid, antiquated rule, and you may be tempted to break it just because we should all be modern and understand that nobody is drawing attention from the couple, but you know…just don’t. At worst, someone is going to call you out on it and get really upset, but even at best there will probably be a couple people who just think you’re weird.