’tis the season, I guess, for dealing with this. Here are some acceptable ways to respond to this fun social dance!

1. Flip ’em off.

2. Ignore them.

3. Run into a bodega and buy yourself some ice cream because you totally deserve it.

4. Call your mom and cathartically trade stories about the other times this has happened to you.

5. Call their moms.

6. Cry violently at them.

7. Say “please don’t” as you smack their hand away.

8. Just say “ew”

9. Literally anything that makes you feel safe, whether that’s sassily laughing it off or pretending to be on a phone call or yelling.

10. Fuck ’em.

11. Fuck ’em all.