Author Archives: Victoria Pratt

Office Kitchen Etiquette

Posted on by

3

Platonic ideal of an office fridge at the end of the day. [Via Wikimedia Commons]

Platonic ideal of an office fridge at the end of the day. [Via Wikimedia Commons]

The office kitchen is often the cause of the greatest strain among coworkers. People steal other peoples food, people don’t wash dishes, the refrigerator is disgusting, and everyone gets fed up. Some simple rules will make everyone much happier:

  • Use the fridge for only the food you will eat that day. Bring your lunch, put it in the fridge, eat it, and bring everything home at the end of the day. Repeat. If you aren’t using the fridge for long term storage, food doesn’t have a chance to rot and make things disgusting. Besides, depending on how many people are using that fridge, there probably isn’t enough room for everyone to store a ton of stuff, so don’t take more than your fair share of space!
  • Label your stuff. It might not prevent people from stealing if they were going to, but it will avoid accidental stealing! Plus, then your office manager will know who to come after when your labelled tupperware starts growing mold.
  • Practice good microwave etiquette. Use a cover so your food doesn’t splatter in the microwave. If it does splatter, wipe it up. Don’t leave your lunch sitting in the microwave when other people are waiting to use it. Avoid heating up extremely smelly food. Avoid burning popcorn. Some of the more uptight among us might add to clear the timer if you leave time on it (but this is asking a lot, I know.)
  • Clean up after yourself. When you finish preparing your food or eating if you eat in the kitchen too, make sure you clean up all wrappers, napkins etc. If you used any dishes, put them in the dishwasher (if you are lucky!) or hand wash them and put them away. Wipe up any crumbs. Unless you work at a very chi-chi office where there is someone whose actual job it is to clean up after everyone, then you MUST clean up after yourself!
  • Be considerate with office snacks. If you are truly lucky, maybe your office provides snacks for you. If so, don’t hog things (like taking 5 granola bars are once or something). Don’t take stuff and bring it home. Throw out empty containers (also don’t leave two chips in a bag and think that you don’t have to throw it out because it isn’t empty.) Clean up spills and crumbs.
  • Refill the coffee pot. If it is empty, make a new pot! If you have a pod machine, empty the pod catcher if it is full! If you have some sort of coffee buying club, follow the rules and contribute your fair share. If you aren’t in the club, don’t drink their coffee.
  • Communicate. If the fridge is running out of milk, sugar, paper towels, or whatever, let the person who refills them know! On the flip side, don’t leave passive aggressive notes about kitchen problems, bring them up to everyone at an appropriate time, such as a staff meeting.

Regional Wedding Traditions: Stag and Doe Parties

Posted on by

4

Previously: Cake Pulls and Cookie Tables

A stag and doe party is a regional tradition found mostly in certain areas of Canada. The purpose of the party is to be a fundraiser for the wedding.

The basic premise is that the bridal party (including groomsmen) will throw the party, which charges an admission fee, charges for drinks, and has games and raffles and things, also for a small fee. The funds raised should cover the cost of the party and leave plenty left over for the bride and groom. The guest list is open to anyone, not just people who are invited to the actual wedding.

Despite my general hatred of people expecting their wedding guests to give them lavish presents, cover their plates, pay for drinks at a cash bar, money dances, and all other kinds of greedy wedding hoopla, I…actually think this is a pretty great idea if it’s already common in your social circle and people know what to expect (ie don’t spring it on your New York City friends who have never heard of such a thing.) Here’s why: while the event is connected to the wedding, it’s not thrown by the bride and groom. Also, I imagine this kind of thing might be more common in areas where there’s not a whole lot of nightlife, so this is probably a good way to get out of the house, have some fun, have some drinks, maybe win a raffle. However, not all Canadians are fond of this tradition.

Of course, like anything, there are polite and rude ways to go about doing it:

  • The party should always be thrown for the bride and groom, not by them.
  • Use it as a substitute for other wedding events, not in addition to them (say do a Stag and Doe but skip the engagement party. People get burned out on attending many events for the same couple)
  • Make it a really fun event that people WANT to attend so they don’t feel like it is just about the money. Have actually fun games and nice prizes.
  • Charge for booze, but have plenty of simple food and drinks for free.
  • Keep the ticket price fairly low or make it by donation.
  • Thank people for coming- maybe even do a big announcement during the event
  • Only only only have such a party if they are already what your social circle does. This is not going to come off well to people who don’t know what it’s about.
  • By no means pressure anyone to come or to spend more money than they are comfortable spending
  • If you are attending the party, keep in mind that it is a fundraiser, so come prepared to spend at least a little bit of money. Don’t just pay the entrance fee and then gorge on the free food/music/dancing.

For places where Stag and Does are attending by the whole community, it seems like a really nice way for everyone to support the couple, even if they wouldn’t be invited to the wedding, while getting a fun time in exchange. And honestly, it sounds way more fun than a shower where you are also spending a bunch of money, but instead of dancing, drinking, and playing games, you are sitting around politely watching someone else open presents.

Please tell me about other regional wedding traditions! Either in the comments or victoria@uncommon-courtesy.com!

 

Is An Irish Exit Rude?

Posted on by

2

Sepia Dancing Off StageThe Irish exit, Dutch leave, French goodbye, whatever mildly ethnic slur you want to call it, is when you leave an event without saying goodbye to anyone. Is it rude? Well, yes, often, but it can also be a relatively low level rudeness depending on the circumstances.

Unforgivable circumstances:

  • On an actual date with another person (unless they are being abusive, etc etc, caveats)
  • Small gatherings where your absence would be easily noticed
  • Any hosted event (you must always thank and say goodbye to your hosts- even at something as big as a wedding)
  • When you are supposed to be giving a ride to someone (unless you ghost away into the night together)

Forgivable circumstances:

  • A large, casual gathering such as 20ish friends hanging out at a bar
  • Casual, group oriented events such as a end of school picnic (though I would consider this just…leaving)
  • Anytime trying to say goodbye would disrupt the event (such as a religious service or when there are speeches happening. Though you should try to avoid leaving in these instances except when you are ill or have other extreme circumstances.)
  • When it’s a large family gathering where goodbyes take an hour (jk! love your family!)

When else do you find Irish exits acceptable/unacceptable? Let me know in the comments!

How to Buy a Wedding Gift

Posted on by

1

We’ve talked about this before, but I have some seen some startling things about wedding gifts on blogs lately, so I thought it would be good to do a refresher.

I was prompted in this by seeing several times over the last few weeks, wedding guests lamenting that the only things left on the wedding registry were super expensive so they were *forced* to spend so much more than they had been planning.

RECORD SCRATCH!

What?!?!?!

Um, no. My friends, a wedding registry is a suggestion of items that the happy couple would like to have. Granted, if you want to buy them a toaster and they have a specific toaster listed, you should PROBABLY get them that one since it probably has particular features that they like. But you are perfectly well within your rights as a guest to get them something that is NOT on the registry. If that seems too risky for you, EVERYONE likes checks! And honestly, people get all silly about a $25/30 check not being “enough.” But honestly, $25 is still $25 they didn’t have before and they know that their mixing bowl set is $25 so if you had gotten them that, they would still know what you spent. Don’t be embarrassed!

And if they have a honeymoon fund but only set it up to accept certain denominations (ahem, couples, do not do this. Do not start your honeyfund contributions at $75. Start them at like $10 and go up from there.), send a check with the amount you would prefer to give anyway. Honeyfunds are a total racket that deduct a percentage of the gift anyway.

So please, go forth and be joyous without destroying your budget. And honestly, if you are paying for airfare and accommodations for the wedding, your presence is definitely a present and a very sweet card or token gift should be fine. And couples who bitch about it should get over themselves.

Deal With It Devil Wears Prada

Birthday Cakes

Posted on by

1

The cake in question (mostly I just want a chance for everyone to admire my beautiful cakes)

The cake in question (mostly I just want a chance for everyone to admire my beautiful cakes)

So, I thought it was extremely commonly understood etiquette that if you are at a birthday party and there is a cake, that it is a Birthday Cake and should not be cut into until Candles Are Lit and Happy Birthday Is Sung, and yet…

So here’s a hot tip that is good most times- don’t be the first to cut into something at a party unless you are told that it is okay.